Terrible 3s? Try Puberty.
Dear reader, I really am starting to see that some new moms could do with the perspective of those who have been in the mom-game for a while. And now that my daughter is days away from turning 10, I’m realizing I’m one of those moms. Obviously not as OG as others of you who have teenagers and adult children, but while I’m in the trenches of this very interesting pre-teen life, I thought I’d write down some thoughts and observations.
First, yes - 2 and 3 is remarkably difficult. They’re learning that the world around them is getting bigger, that they are no longer the center of it. They’re trying to communicate but don’t know the words so you can’t understand, and that makes for more frustrations on all sides. At 10 - puberty - they’re learning now to navigate in a new body, a body changing daily with weird freaking things happening to it. They, too, are moody but they’re no longer 100% dependent on you so they don’t really need you to understand. If they can’t convey it and you can’t understand it in a certain amount of time then they, unlike the 3 year old, will just stop trying to explain. I’m learning that hurts more than anything your 3 year old does out of frustration.
I think that with both of these ages, we can just ‘blame’ the age. But at both they need love and acceptance for the changes they’re living and going through because it’s HARD. I’m far from any expert, but as my friends are going through toddler and newborn years, some at the same time, I wanted to sprinkle in a view from a different time. A time when they’re far more self-sufficient and you may be tempted to say ‘easier’. But no period of raising children is easy. She’s about to get a phone for her birthday - more for my peace of mind when she’s not with me. But she’s a 21st century kid, on her tablet with youtube garbage and the dumbest ads getting spewed in her direction regularly. I’m just here to say that every age has it’s own version of hard. It’s how we respond, how we grow too alongside their growth, that is the thing to help at any stage so we can be there for them.